Weighed in after work tonight before my shower.... 245.4
According to my LoseIt profile, I'm 8.2lbs lighter than when I started restricting again on Jan 9. I'm pleased but still this is really slow...

Today hasn't been so good so far....

Foodwise:
1 x coffee with milk and 2 x tea with milk 140
1 brown roll, hummus, tomato, half egg 300
1 packet cheese and onion crisps 170
1 minestrone cup a soup 91

I've smoked all but one of my cigarettes too.

 That's 701 calories right there. That's disgusting given that it is only 1330.

I actually need a plan, then I can stop freaking out. Dinner I have to eat with my husband. Tonight is supposed to be pork chop with vegetables. I'm going to try to skip the potatoes and maybe just eat half the pork chop. Black coffee or water only for the rest of the day though.

featherlight - it means what says.

Definition of FEATHERLIGHT

: extremely light

Examples of FEATHERLIGHT

1. <the company has designed a strong but featherlight fiber which it hopes to market to manufacturers of body armor>

First Known Use of FEATHERLIGHT

circa 1837

Related to FEATHERLIGHT

Synonyms: ¹light, feathery, lightweight, underweight, weightless

 

This journal is my way of tracking my journey to being featherlight. It's going to be a long journey....

I've always wished to be featherlight. To fade away into nothingness. But no.... instead I turn to food. My enemy. It pretends to give me pleasure when all it does is bring me pain, despair and self-loathing.

I've been not tracking things for so long. Recovered if you like. The term recovered is a joke though. Recovered to me, means bingeing without purging and now I'm monstrous. Truly monstrous. 247lbs of monstrosity. Fuck recovery.